RUNNING on EMPTY

It is very painful to live with an empty mind. To have no thoughts towards/from others. It is true we can become inundated from/with the outside world. But to have nothing, no one to connect with, to sit your days away, empty is very stressful and painful.

It is true we need to get in touch with ourselves, but to be preoccupied with the self proves very boring, and to some, very frightening. You might be a scholar, your nose in interesting forms of thinking, flexing your cerebral muscle. A very enjoyable pastime. There comes a day when you look out of the window of your mind and find you have left the world behind. There is no one in front of you, behind you, even with you. This is not to be confused with loneliness, rather aloneness. Loneliness is when you look out the windows of your mind to take notice there is no human to interact with, to feel the need to be with someone. Aloneness is being full, finding there is no one to share your adventure with. Either way, it is painful.

There are those who need to have the connection of another body. To touch, feel, share. There are those who do not want a body near/with them, as they pick up the negative feelings of everyone and anyone, not necessarily connected to them. They have become so evolved that to have someone touch them will interfere with their biological electromagnetic fields. Though the transference of the bodily contact is not very rewarding for the special ones, they can trip out in an unexpected way. They might have someone in their life who is extra kind, generous in all ways, someone whom they want a relationship with, who gives or takes vibrations. Some even become like a vampire, sucking energy, unknowing to either parties. Such people need to pick those with whom the connection is positive, people who do not become jealous, demanding, domineering, who will not allow interaction with a brain that is on the same wave length. People who unselfishly allow one to be who they are, being thankful to be in the lives of the ones they love, who do not dictate how or if the live is returned. There is no personal attraction, only the soothing feeling of filling the void. The emptiness, the aloneness as their overactive minds whirl around lie a windmill. The thoughts are like the wind to make the arms move, creating power/energy voices, visions and dreams.

I must interject that this ability of feeling others’ emotions can be very confusing, i.e. if one of two decides they love each other, the love is shared. So they are in love. Love does not sustain itself for very long, as it is the nature of love to seek out new hearts to fill. Then the façade falls away and the love is no longer there. It was not really there in the first place. It was only a reflection of the light flashing through the darkness. One cannot maintain the same spirit indefinitely, for the spirit has its seasons. Not always the same one manifesting. It is for this reason love is identified with spring. For the spirit who has been resting through the winter is able to awaken. The spirit that has been residing during most of the winter has to rest until the next winter season, for in a sever climate such as Canada, we cannot have doors and windows open to allow the spirit of love to flourish. Love for some flourishes only when in a group.

Sometimes people with evolved minds simply cannot, will not, dare not make a connections with anyone, or … So few that on the surface it appears that there is no one at home. (Choosing their mind, people are like that fish, Connection carefully.) I get an image of a fish who has a lure on his tongue. He sits with his mouth open with his lure waving in the current. When a target come too close, he shoots our and grabs his intended. We, the special people, are like that fish. The target is someone to interrelate with. Not personally, rather spiritually.  We have the tendency to want to consume those who venture too close as the pain of not having the spiritual connection is painful.

In psychiatry, these spirits are called parts of the self. It is good to know the seasons of each part of yourself. There might be some parts of yourself you do now want to interfere with your plans. Some think we cannot have a say as to what portion of what we are. This is not true. You can discover that portion of what you are, how you think and act with us on stage. “Life is but a stage and we are actors on it.” WE are not the actors. Only the playwright. If your stage is empty of actors, like a real empty stage, there is no play to enjoy. The play as playing a role. Your parts or spirits that are you.

Even one can say the part of you who enjoys being alone, empty, will pass with the season. The new actor might be appalled there is no audience, and freaks out, in panic, for it demands attention. Interaction.